Verse 1
Allergies debilitate me in summer
High pollen content’s such a bummer
The snot in my nose Olympic – runner
My chemist is a wee doll – I love her
Antihistamines help me breathe again
Without eye drops, Cyclops, squinty vision
I look like I’ve been chopping onions for hours
With a mouth stuffed full of Haribo sours
Hah chew… I’m a wee doot
My girlfriend finds my sickness so cute
I’m the reason that she doesn’t wear perfume
I’m the reason that she doesn’t smoke in her room
Hay fever sniffs – conjunctivitis
Got me on temporary blindness
Benadryl hits – snot laced spits
Wet eyelids, dry lips – got me in the pits
Chorus
I’m weak
So weak
Verse 2
An Ethiopian runner – but thinner
A faux vegetarian at Sunday dinner
Bone structure like a Gecko - lizard
Muscles like a Christmas turkey - gizzard
Taught – skin – shows off the bone
Makes me look as though I’ve got muscle tone
My body resembles Nick Clegg in Parliament
Throat feels like the Creationist argument (weak)
Bones creak like a dried up door hinge
Pass out when they penetrate me with syringe
Biceps like two elastic - strings
Clench teeth when the tattoo needle stings
A dirty mucker – nerdy brother
A very well clued up learning lover
I’m not like you– that’s my word
And you wouldn’t kill me like a mocking bird
Verse 3
I’m weak – I’m a seven day stretch
Seven day, seven day, seven day stretch
But I’m dexterous with adjustable wrench
Clever graft gives a seductive stench
Kittens are cute but only in theory
When I’m around them I cannot see clearly
Feather pillows viewed as a luxury
But they turn my boogers all watery
The strength in me can be hard to see
When my girlfriend helps open jars for me
A hard days work puts my body in bits
Second hand smoke brings coughing fits
The back gate bolt is a difficult task
Can only pull so much before it hurts to grasp
If food’s on the plate I’m a fucking eat it
But I’ve still got the figure of a true bulimic
credits
from Birds Over Nupes EP,
released January 21, 2013
Additional guitars by Paul Denver